Rolling Hamster Kids ころくるハムスターキッズ

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Have you ever wanted to see four hamsters body slamming the shit out of each other and roll into fences? Of course you have, and this is your chance. Rolling Hamster Kids is so much fun it hurts. You start the game choosing what kind of game mode you want. You can choose a one on one battle right through to a four player free for all. The game can be played with four friends and can also be played over a network. I haven’t tested it though, as my two best friends Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker weren’t interested.

The game mechanics are simple. You have a life bar and a power bar. To fill your power bar you have to eat. Once you have filled your power bar (although it doesn’t need to be filled completely) you can start rolling into other hamsters, doing damage to their life bar. One thing though, once you start rolling you cant stop until your power bar is completely used up. And those little furry bastards can be pretty hard to control sometimes. There is a defensive mode too. When you are chowing down to power up pressing any of the directional keys will make your hamster go into the foetal position, but this also drains your power bar. This may sound counter productive, but when you have three hamsters trying to buttfuck you at once it’s pretty much your only option.

I found the four player battle to be the most fun. More than once I found myself getting gangbanged by all three hamsters at once and let me tell you, one does not last very long when one is being gangbanged by three hamsters. The controls are good, however I couldn’t quite get my joypad to work. The D pad worked fine but the game wouldn’t recognise the buttons. You can however customize the controls. Once you make your hamster start his rolling attack there is no stopping him. Once the attack has been started you have little control over him. With the directional keys you can kind of steer the hamster, but not very much. All the bouts take place within wooden pen, and when a rolling hamster hits the fence he simply bounces off it. It is quite the spectacle to watch all four hamsters rolling and bouncing of fences.

Everyone everywhere needs to play this game all day every day. Never have I had so much fun rolling and bumping hamsters together. It’s one of those games that makes you actually laugh out loud. Sometimes it made me yell at the screen as if protesting to some non existent referee. “Oh COME ON, that was bullshit!”. It’s not often I come across a game that is so simple and yet so much fucking fun.

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