Posted in All Retro Media

Final Fantasy VII Remake Announced

Final Fantasy VII. What a game. One of the first console role playing games for many people and a favourite among many more. It is sometimes called the “Game that Sold the Playstation”, although I’m sure the Playstation would have sold regardless. Some people like to hate on it because of its popularity while others use it as a benchmark of which all other console RPGs are judged. I remember when I told my mother I was going to save up my allowance to buy the game. She said it sounded like a porno title. The classy lass she is. So it has been announced, at E3 no less, that the legendary Final Fantasy VII will be remade for the Playstation 4.… Read the rest
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Posted in All

Game Review: Eschalon – Book One

Eschalon Book One is an isometric role playing game for the PC. I picked this game up on a whim and found it to be one of the best impulse purchases I have ever made. The creators, Basilisk Games, are an indie game studio that don’t have the funding or resources of their big-name rivals, but they do have one awesome and enjoyable game. Book One is, as you may have already guessed, the first installment in the Eschalon series. Book Two was released a little while after and Book Three a little while after that. Eschalon looks a lot like a late Ultima game, a kind of mix between 6 and 7, only really, really polished.… Read the rest
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Posted in All Console Games

Ginga Fukei Densetsu Sapphire

What a mouthful. The title translates roughly to something like “Legend of the Intergalactic Police Women Sapphire”. I really don’t know what that ‘sapphire’ is doing there, but who really gives a shit? I don’t and neither should you. The game was produced by Hudson and released for the PC Engine in 1995. It is a top-down 2d vertical shooter featuring four playable characters who, like the name of the game would suggest, are police women. Despite them all looking about 14 years old, they have no problem kicking some serious ass in their space crafts. The game has you traveling through time and each level takes place in a different point in history (and the future, of course).… Read the rest
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Posted in Abandonware All

Jazz Jackrabbit

Jazz Jackrabbit is a 1995 side scrolling action platformer for the PC. A Mac version was also released and a re-boot was made for the Gameboy Advance in 2002. It was designed and published by Epic MegaGames who, apart from having the most awesomest name in the gaming world, also produced such classics as Jill of Jungle, One Must Fall 2097 and Unreal. In 1999 they dropped the ‘Mega’ from their name and made Gears of War. So yeah, these guys know how to make games. Jazz Jackrabbit provided PC gamers at the time with something they had been longing for; Sonic the Hedgehog.… Read the rest
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Posted in All Console Games

Prehistorik / P-マン

Prehistorik and Prehistorik 2 are a pair of platform games released in 1991 and 1993 (respectively) for various computer systems, including MS-DOS and Amiga. They were developed by the now defunct Titus Software. The last game Titus Software put out was Xena: Warrior Princess in 2001, so it’s safe to say that they are dead and buried. While they did give us such classics The Blues Brothers, Fire and Forget II and Carmageddon, they are also the group responsible for Superman 64. I’m surprised they didn’t go out of business and face a lynch mob after that spectacular fuck-up of a game.… Read the rest
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Posted in All Console Games

Ungra Walker アングラウォーカー

Ungra Walker is a rogue-like dungeon crawler from game studio Success and was released in 2002 for the Sony Playstation. To the best of my knowledge it was Japan-only and never saw a translation nor a release overseas. The title seems a bit odd, but I’m pretty sure it’s a bastardization of “Underground Walker,” as in someone who walks under ground, which is actually pretty fitting for a dungeon crawler like this. The game starts you off picking a name, a gender and a class. You are able to play as a warrior, a thief, a wizard or a priest. You can change the color of your characters outfit as well, but it’s completely arbitrary.… Read the rest
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Posted in All Freeware

Zombie Shooting Lite

Download page The title says it all. Zombie Shooting. That’s literally the game. You stand in a room with a gun and shoot zombies. Have you ever played a game that failed to deliver? A game with a title that mislead or flat out lied to the player. Yeah? Well this game is the absolute opposite of that. There is no bullshit training mode to sit through, nor is there some third rate b-movie level plot. No hammy voice actors just reading straight from a script and hoping that their pay check will cover this months liqour bill. It really is nothing but shooting zombies.… Read the rest
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Posted in Abandonware All

Hexen

Hexen, often considered the spiritual successor of Heretic, was developed by Raven Software and first released in 1994 for the PC. It was later ported to the Playstation, Saturn and N64. I had fond memories of playing Hexen, both the old DOS version as well as the Playstation port. After discovering Zdoom, a fantastic source-port of the original doom engine, I set out on an adventure into nostalgia. I instantly remembered what I loved about this game as soon as I loaded it up. The atmosphere really gets under your skin. It’s a Sword and Sorcery themed game and is filled with misty moors, dark forests, scorched wastelands and murky swamps.… Read the rest
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Posted in All Console Games

Cloud Master 中華大仙

Cloud Master was designed by Taito, published by Hot-B in 1988 and was later ported to both the Sega Master System, the Nintendo Entertainment System and a couple of other systems. Unlike many other ports that appeared on both the NES and the SMS, there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of difference between the two versions. This game is hard as all sweet-fuck. There, I said it. The difficulty of this game is legendary. Well maybe not legendary, but it is hard enough to make me want to put my fist through my TV screen. The thing about Cloud Master is that it’s doesn’t seem very difficult.… Read the rest
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Posted in All Freeware

Kaikan 壊漢

Download (scroll down to the bottom of the page) Kaikan is a freeware vertical shmup from Zakichi, the same mad mind behind Contlade. I would say, in my own humble, alcoholic opinion, that Kaikan is the superior of the two, even if Contlade is a lot of fun in its own right. While Contlade closely resembled an early console shooter, Kaikan closely resembles an arcade shooter. It’s fast, it’s hectic, it’s got shit flying everywhere and power-ups galore. It’s awesome. You start the game choosing a craft to pilot. Each craft has a different main attack and appearance. The appearance of the ship is completely arbitrary, but the main attack alters the gameplay significantly.… Read the rest
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