With Dwayne can-you-smell-what-the-rock-is-cooking Johnson taking the leading role of Jack Burton? Well, ‘leading role’ in the loosest sense here; Jack Burton wasn’t the hero of the film as he just kind of stumbled through it looking for a truck and came out the other end in one piece. God damn I love that movie.
Big Trouble in Little China was a video store classic back when we would spend our hard earned allowance at an actual shop that rented out physical copies of movies on VHS and browse the drama section because is was right next to the room with the porno films and we would always try to get a sneak peek at some major boobage while the lady behind the counter rolled her eyes. The good old days. Nowadays you just put literally anything into a search engine and click links until the porn starts playing. Humanity may struggle with world peace and not polluting the environment, but we’ve got porno sorted out just fine.
Anyway, Big Trouble in Little China is not a movie I thought that would receive a re-make. It’s a classic, but it’s a cheesy classic. It’s a Hollywood blockbuster pretending to be a B-Movie, which is where a lot of its charm comes from. I just wonder if they will keep that charm. I hope they do. I’m struggling to think of anything more cringe-worthy than dark, brooding remake of Big Trouble in Little China.
They just don’t seem to make movies like that anymore. It’s not a bad-on-purpose kind film like Sharknado, and it’s not a series of action sequences tied loosely together with a bullshit plot, like an old Kung Fu movie. (And who doesn’t like some Drunken Master?) No, Big Trouble in Little China is a special kind of cheesy. It’s like the film knew that it was a classic 80’s action flick before that was even really a thing.
Unlike most promising news that comes my way, the remake of Big Trouble in Little China really does seem to be underway. But try not to get disappointed if it gets cut or abandoned – Hollywood is a fickle little tart like that.
While I imagine that most readers probably already own a copy of Big Trouble in Little China, if for some reason you have not seen it yet – see it. The film is an 80’s classic and a hell of a lot of fun.