青タイツ Blue Tights

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For the first time in a very long time a game gave me a case of the “what the fuck?”s. Literally. I opened up this game and cried “what the fuuuuuck?” as soon as the gameplay started. My wife was all like “stop talking to your computer, you know it can’t hear you”, so I was all like “go make me a turkey pot pie!” and then she hit me up the back of the head.

At any rate, the WTF meter really goes into the red with this little gem. First off, you will notice that it is very amateurish (is that even a word?) and looks like the all the in-game graphic

s were done in MS paint, which they probably were. Now it’s not actually a bad thing, as the graphics of this game actually add to the overall experience. I am positive that the creator never meant for this game to be taken seriously. Almost as if the game itself is a practical joke.

It’s quite difficult to accurately describe this game. I suggest you try yourself just to see how insane it really is.

To give a broad description, it’s a side scrolling platformer with a muscle bound, shirtless hero who punches the ever loving shit out of everything. And I do mean everything. The object of the game, I’m guessing, is to collect the milk bottles that are scattered throughout the levels. They are all over the place so it’s not too difficult to achieve this objective. Other than that, I don’t think there is any back story, plot or greater goal.

It’s often hard to tell where you are going in this game as the camera is zoomed right in on the protagonist. There is a very good chance that you will plummet to your doom on roughly 100% of the jumps in this game as you simply can’t see where you are going to land. Other than that little gripe, the game is a lot of mildly retarded fun.

You also can’t beat the price.

The menu system may be a little confusing for those that don’t have a decent handle on the Japanese language, but just keep pressing the Z and X keys (the main keys used in the game) and the game will eventually start.

 

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